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rhcrayon: The Blog!
Nov. 1st, 2009
07:40 pm - Huzzah!! (Contest Winner Winner Winner!!)
HA HA HA HA!!
[Said with my finger pointing at an email I got, eyes squeezed shut and every HA separate, almost like a Haw. This is my something-has-just-come-loose-in-my-brai
I won the poetry contest at Literati Cafe!!!
Read all the winning entries here:
http://literatiliterati.wordpress.com/20
Okay, I didn't "win" as in get First Place, which comes with a sizable gift certificate that could have funded my writing there for . . . a week. Two if I was careful. (One night if I threw a lavish party for the three-person writing group that was the reason I entered, or if we dined at Literati 2.) I won a Judges Award, which comes with a sizable-ish gift certificate, good for a writer's group meeting at least.
So Lee suggests everyone enter, since we've been gathering at this cafe twice a month for a few years, and I cannot come up with a poem to save my life. I used to love writing little poems on the side all the time, but I've been too wound up over my fiction manuscript lately. So I write something terrible* (and, what's worse, earnest, because I genuinely love this cafe that is the best writing environment in the whole city), and grimace and bear it while my group tells me they like the bits that rhymed; and Lee throws our entries in the box.
(*And no, that is not the one that won, so you can stop trying to outsmart me right there. It was bad.)
Lee and Sara, in the meantime, came up with poems that had me floored. I mean, they knocked me out. I wanted them to send me copies afterward, so I could keep them like a packrat, but they ignored me on that.
That night, Literati poems start coming to me. Really terrible ones, but I get out of bed and write them all down, anyway. And I am like this the whole time:
HA HA HA HA!!
[finger pointing at my computer screen, cracking myself up, wishing all my friends were awake at 3 AM]
The next morning, I get up early and go to Literati and stuff the new ones in the box. I mean, writing these made me cheerful like you wouldn't believe. Two are ridiculous but entertain me. One I actually like and am secretly, shyly rooting for. (Damon doesn't like any, and, when I recite them for him, asks me to please stop. He makes a point of telling me why the one I like most is bad, to which I can only reply, hahahahahahaahahahahahaha.) I don't know who I'm writing for, so I stuff them all in. (No entry limit.) They picked the one I liked!!
So now I love this contest!!
Dude, I'm crazy about the poem that got their First Runner Up. It's fantastic. I feel like it was written in the same spirit mine was but flexing more literary muscle and delivering content! Story. A little message about imagination. Up-and-down twists. And funny rhymes??
Now I understand.
Next year, it's on.
r
Sara and Lee, next meeting's on me!
(Special thanks to Lee for the encouragement. He entered last year and won a prize, too!)
P.P.S.
Here are the two poems that didn't win but made me so cheerful to write, like rediscovering a long-lost friend.
clears throat
(Both are untitled.)
The barista here can make art
with a swirl of latte foam.
He says his sister has my name.
I say Home
is knowing where to find your heart.
Literati.
And (in what was more or less the birthing of an unidentical twin):
The barista here has a crush on me.
He swirls hearts into my coffee foam.
Doesn't he know?
I eat hearts like his for breakfast.
Funny, right??
Fine, whatever . . .
Sep. 21st, 2009
11:52 pm - Seventh Anniversary
From my wedding vows, seven years ago:
Seven years we have been together. And they have gone so fast, and every year has been so different, and so fun, just thinking about how fast it's gone almost causes me to panic. I know another seven years will go just as fast, and then another seven; and one day we'll celebrate our 25th anniversary, and one day it will be our 50th. I want all my years to be with you, and I shall love you always.
I've now been married to Damon for as long as we were a couple before. In fact . . . Damon and I have now been a couple (married and not) for as long as we spent as arch enemies. (14 and 14 years.)
It goes really fast.
:)
r
P.S. I dusted off our wedding cartoon for the occasion. (Click here if you don't see a video embedded below.)
Created by the super talented Tony Wang. This originally framed the slideshow that played at our reception.
Cheers, Everyone, :)
(d &) r
Sep. 3rd, 2009
12:48 am - SCBWI Summer Conference Photos Are Here
YES!! Photos from the 38th Annual SCBWI Summer Conference are up!!
Click here to view all photos from the 2009 SCBWI Summer Conference by me and Suzanne Young at the official SCBWI Flickr photostream, which is also linked from the SCBWI main Web site.
You can also view just my Summer Conference photos at my own Flickr feed, as well as my photos from
the 2008 SCBWI Summer Conference
the 2007 SCBWI Summer Conference, and
the 2006 SCBWI Summer Conference.
(And if that's not enough, check out SCBWI-LA Writer's Day 2009, SCBWI-LA Writer's Day 2008, and SCBWI-LA Writer's Day 2007, respectively.)
I have a lot to say about this year's Summer Conference, but I'm going to roll those posts out slowly. This goes hand in hand with Kathleen Duey's closing keynote on how to keep the magic of the Conference going as we shift back into our daily lives. I hope you'll keep coming back. In the meantime, I have one photography-specific story to share.
On Day Three of the Conference, two women—a writer and an illustrator—came up and thanked me for having taken photos the year before. They said my pictures really showed them what this event was like, and that their whole critique group had decided to come.
That made me so happy!! That's the exact reason I take the photos: this imaginary scenario in my head of there being people Out There who'd never been to the Conference who wanted to come, who might be made more comfortable by previewing it first. I'd hoped this was happening. I'd never expected to hear about it.
A few hours later, for the first time ever, my memory card filled up without my having brought a backup. I'd always taken these photos for fun and for myself in theory, and suddenly I had to decide: give it up for the rest of the day, or get another card from home (which really wasn't that far away)?
Because these women had talked to me, I got another card. (Actually, I called my husband, and he dropped off another card. But still. I wouldn't have bothered him otherwise.) I couldn't help it. Their comments were so nice.
I'll write about the conference proper in future posts, :)
Rita
(Photos above are from Dan Yaccarino's SCBWI Conference keynote, "Say Yes!" and Kathleen Duey's inspiring closing keynote, "Transmutation: Books That Matter."
Photo credit: Rita Crayon Huang, Copyright ©2009, SCBWI.)
UPDATE from 9/7—
I've now posted these photos to Facebook as well. Feel free to tag yourselves and your friends—and to friend me there, too. (Just mention these photos or this blog, so I know where you're coming from!)
The Usual Disclaimer: If there are any photos you aren't completely comfortable with or that you want your name taken off, etc., send me a private message via Facebook or [at] yahoo.com, username rhcrayon. I will always respect that, gladly.
Aug. 11th, 2009
03:17 pm - SCBWI-LA 2009 Summer Conference Photos are coming
SCBWI-LA Summer Conference photos are coming.
Uploading . . .
Uploading . . .
In the meantime, if you are viewing this in my blog at LiveJournal, scroll down to the bottom to see photos from the 2008 Summer Conference. When I post 2009 pictures, the new entry will bump last year's off the page. How perfect is that.
:)
r
Aug. 5th, 2009
05:19 pm - "I Am Not A Man"
Two nights ago, my friend Sara posted this Facebook status update:
Sara Wilson Etienne is thinking about what to wear to the Summer Conference...
evidently picking out shoes is easier than picking out which sessions to go to.
I'd just come back from shoe shopping when I saw this, and for a moment I read it the other way around. At any rate, I don't think she meant choosing conference shoes was easy. Damon, who hates shopping, had actually come with me with the sole purpose of preventing me from buying shoes that were too "mannish."
"I just want shoes I can wear to a meeting and then hike into the desert in, or go on an African safari," I said. "Like a British gentlewoman. Like—loafers, but with cleats. Maybe in suede."
"You are not a man!" D said. And then, "I'm coming with you."
We went into every store in the Beverly Center. I could not figure out what type of shoe would give me this look that was "at home in the jungle and the city." Finally I decided I was starting my own line of Rugged Business Shoes For Women. (That would be the tagline.) For models I kept looking longingly at the men's side of every store, plus the shoes on Damon's feet. "Any of those would work!" I said. "Why don't they make that for us??"
"Youarenotaman," said D.
"What would Amelia Earhart wear?"
Damon groaned.
Eventually we found a pair we both liked. I came home with . . . strappy sandals.
On clearance at Macy's--$37.50
"Crappo," I said. "Now I need a pedicure. I was hoping to avoid that this year."
"Yeahh!" Damon said. "Mission accomplished."
See you all on the other side, :)
r
P.S.
Apparently writing about what to wear to the Summer Conference has become a tradition in this blog. My favorite is the post I wrote before the 2007 conference: "Pre-SCBWI-LA: A Melrose Moment." You can also see my high school prom dress here.
P.P.S.
Hey! It turns out Sara has blogged about her conference footwear, too! Check it out here!
Aug. 1st, 2009
08:13 pm - My Table. And SCBWI-LA Writer's Day 2009 Photos
(Because the SCBWI Summer Conference is coming up, I feel some pressure to post something cheery and rah-rah about the writing life, in case SCBWI friends stop by. But, I'm like a 5th-year senior at this conference by now, so I'm just going to tell it like it is.)
Today the table I sit at every day, to write, smelled like B.O. It's in the far corner of the cafe, in its own sunny little glass case, not unlike a phone booth.
I set up all my stuff anyway—because I need this table—wondering how long the smell would last and whether I'd be sitting in it all day.
After ordering, I bussed a small plate with an open muffin wrapper on it. Then I thought, This muffin was probably eaten by the person with the B.O. I wondered if sweat glands were on me.
I washed my hands.
Of course, I'm probably sitting in the same chair as that person. And because the table hadn't been bussed, it also hasn't been wiped. I feel very connected right now.
I hope he got a lot of work done.
On an entirely different note, here are my photos from SCBWI-LA Writer's Day 2009! (It was only five and a half months ago. :P ) I was so worked up about entering the Writer's Day contest for the first time that I felt like I didn't take as many photos as usual. But apparently the habit kicked in. There's reasonable coverage. :) (During the slideshow, click "Show Info" to turn on captions.)
Also for your viewing convenience:
SCBWI-LA Writer's Day 2008: Photos | Blog entry
SCBWI-LA Writer's Day 2007: Photos | Blog entry
And if you want to hear me say something not jaded—
On the one hand, I want to downplay the meaning that winning the Writer's Day middle grade fiction contest this year had for me.
On the other hand, irrationally . . . that was one of the greatest days of my life. 
r
Thank you, Lee Wind, for making a point of getting a photo of me, too!
Jun. 12th, 2009
04:26 pm - I Want To Know What Love Is . . .
OH MAN. I have to tell you. Lots of times I wonder what a lip reader would think if he or she saw me in my car. Others would see my lips moving, but maybe they would think I had a Bluetooth headset. But a lip reader would know: cheesy love songs.
Today I was sitting in a café, in my usual sunny window, and I’d had a great writing session all morning but now my brain was fried. And I looked right out the window—the same window I sit in every day--right into people’s cars.
Lots of people were singing! Driving by; stopped at the light; heads bobbing—no lip reading necessary. Singing and car dancing.
I am so happy.
Apr. 24th, 2009
10:27 am - Elevator Conversations! A Birthday Card by fomato
So this is hilarious and a half.
Remember when I blogged “7 Random/Weird Things About My Significant Other” a while back, wherein I changed the rules of a meme to focus on Damon instead of me? Well, that post turned out to be a favorite among friends, including all kinds of people I had no idea were reading. Everyone liked how D loves elevator conversation.
Our friend Emmie Hsu, of fomato cards, asked “permission” to use the idea for a birthday greeting card. Then, out of the blue, she sent us the card last week.
I love it!! Both Damon and I love how it turned out so much!
I now present to you . . .
elevator conversations
by fomato cards
(front)
(inside)
(back)
YEAH!!
Click here to see “elevator conversations” on the fomato cards Web site
Click here for the main fomato site, where you can find all her masterpieces!
She tried to work in D's favored “Days of the Week,” but it didn't fit—at least not in this card. She got more input from our friend Calvin and used Frankie's “Living the dream.”
I love all fomato cards so much, you guys. I use nothing else. They are hilarious, gorgeously illustrated, high quality, relevant, totally indie, and smack of Asian American pop culture flava.
(Yes, I said flava. You have no idea how much I resist yo.)
So get thee to fomato.com for a hi-larious reading experience! Each card is short, punchy, and perfect for someone you know. Before you know it, you’ll have read them all. You’ll wind up ordering, too, because her cards totally inspire that “I-have-to-get-this-for-So-and-so!” reaction.
So much greatness,
rita
P.S.
A few more of my favorites:
potatoes
no
facebook intervention
ramen noodle festival
chinese food
sushi lesson
school o dissatisfaction (This one's perfect for pessimists, optimists, and people who love mangoes)
cheese
boba
time/stress/relationships
job
unexciting
Here is Damon’s favorite:
screw you
Which ones are yours?
P.P.S.
Photos from Writer’s Day are still coming! This is one of the rules of writing: Never deliver what you promised. That keeps readers coming back.
Thanks for all the congrats, though—here, on Facebook, and everywhere!
Now get to fomato.com!
Damon’s favorite is apparently fomato’s current bestseller. I am mortified.
Apr. 18th, 2009
11:33 pm - SCBWI-LA Writer's Day, part i
Some kind of post will follow. For now I just wanted to say . . .
I won the category of Middle Grade Fiction today, at SCBWI-LA Writer's Day!
Apr. 9th, 2009
12:07 am - happy rumors
Speaking of books getting made into movies (a la my last post), I just heard a rumor, super recently, that another children's book I love is getting made. In a major way ($$!!). With someone suitably awesome at the helm. =) 
Mortal Engines by Philip Reeve
My Review
rating: 5 of 5 stars
Mortal Engines by Philip Reeve has been one of the bright spots in my reading year so far—along with the third Bartimaeus Trilogy book, by Jonathan Stroud! (What took me so long to read either??) I loved this to an irrational degree throughout, which is my criteria for five stars. But I sure would love to discuss it with more people . . .
My husband got so into this book, he actually started moping around the apartment a couple days after, asking if there were sequels. That's high praise coming from someone who only grudgingly admits that the few, carefully selected children's books I pass on to him are "all right" and "pretty good." Now he's reading Predator's Gold before me. It's torture.
The whole time I was reading this book, I was like, Why hasn't anyone made this into a movie? They make everything else. This would be amazing!
Well just recently, we got news . . . *huge grin*
So hurry up and read it yourself, today! And then email me please.
View all my reviews on GoodReads.
Please, please, Hollywood, don't drag my heart through the mud.
(Unless it's marsh mud criss-crossed with traction marks, and Hester Shaw and Tom Natsworthy are with me!)
r 
P.S. And don't forget to check out all the books in the Bartimaeus Trilogy, by Jonathan Stroud, which are great fun and do keep getting better as they go, just as has been reported! Both my husband and I were wild about this third installment, Ptolemy's Gate. I've seen him just let it fall open and start rereading from there—more than once! My review of Ptolemy's Gate
Mar. 27th, 2009
09:01 am - My Favorite Picture Book of All Time/The Ultimate Book Trailer
Felisa sent me this yesterday. Whenever I hear something I love is getting made into a movie,* I get hopeful.
I heard about this project ages ago, from Bus. Now that I see the trailer, I'm more hopeful than ever.
r
* Since what I love is children's books, this means Hollywood is constantly stringing me along.
Feb. 19th, 2009
10:27 am - Westside Schmooze: CHARACTER (On Jeremy Thatcher, Kurt Vonnegut, and 5th Grade)
My friend "e" once told me that her job hostessing gave her a new superpower: she can walk into any restaurant anywhere and know how long the wait will be. In a similar way, I feel like co-leading the last couple SCBWI Westside Schmoozes has heightened my awareness of craft.
Our latest meeting, last Wednesday, February 11, was on Character. [Official recap here. | Lee's personal recap here!] This was the second Schmooze Lee Wind and I co-coordinated, and while preparing, I came across this quote by Kurt Vonnegut:
“When I used to teach creative writing, I would tell the students to make their characters want something right away—even if it’s only a glass of water. Characters paralyzed by the meaninglessness of modern life still have to drink water from time to time."
—From Advice to Writers: A Compendium of Quotes, Anecdotes, and Writerly Wisdom From a Dazzling Array of Literary Lights, compiled and edited by Jon Winokur; which someone gave me a long time ago. (A handy place to look for quotes, since it's organized by topic. This one came under "Character.")This advice struck me as hilariously practical: the idea that you can make a character want something—anything—just to get readers hooked, even if it's not what your book is about. Readers don't know what your book is about! Showing a character wanting
This advice helped me right away, with the introduction of my book's second main character. I also immediately thought of an example.
In Bruce Coville’s middle grade novel Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher (which I referenced at the last Schmooze, too, on Beginnings), in the very first line Jeremy Thatcher crumples up a drawing and wants a fresh piece of paper—but he doesn’t know if he can get it, because his teacher's so mean. Then you find out the reason he wants to draw is to win an art contest. Then the main story of hatching a dragon gets underway, and you pretty much forget about the art contest for a long time. But those first moments of wanting—the paper, and the contest—get you in the character's head.
It buys the author time to set his story up. Because Bruce Coville is awesome, he brings the art contest back in the end—and uses it to show Change; and his ending "shakes hands with the beginning"; plus, Jeremy Thatcher's ability to draw a dragon ties into the main story. It's not the story, but it adds.
Pretty slick, right??
(Ditto with Kurt Vonnegut's example above. We don't know anything about this character that's "paralyzed by the meaninglessness of life," but wanting a glass of water immediately seems symbolic. I feel it, man. Yeah. Yeah.)
So I'm sitting in a movie theatre three nights after the Schmooze, watching Slumdog Millionaire for my second time (Damon's first) (awesome, by the way), and right as a new character is introduced—a child—before we know anything about him or what's going on—they whack a ball high into the air and shout for him to catch it. There's all this tension in his face—and in us; watching—wanting him to catch it.
I sat bolt upright in the theatre and grabbed my pen. There it is! That's what they did!! Eye on the ball, and we are so in!!!
Oh, man. I'm like Neo at the end of The Matrix. I can see in craft!!
(Did I just give away Matrix for you?)
(Did I just give away Jeremy Thatcher for you??)
I told Bruce Coville at the last summer conference that I "have long studied Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher for craft." Apparently, now I also teach from it—if leading an SCBWI Schmooze discussion can be considered teaching! (Or preaching, since . . . well, yeah.)
On an increasingly personal note,
our January Schmooze on Beginnings [my own recap here | official Schmooze recap here] gave me my first experience of that energy in a room changing—everyone silent and taking notes—the moment I started talking. (I've done plenty of public speaking before, but apparently people don't take notes at weddings.)
The February Schmooze is the first time I've found us blogged by someone else! Check check check it out: Edith Cohn's post on the Schmooze on Character!
The odd thing is, reading her version gave me new insights—and I was there! It's exactly like what Edith said to me after the Schmooze (when I was wondering how much everyone already knew, coming in): you can hear the same advice and get something new out of it every time, depending on where you're at. I was at a different place in my writing when I read her blog, and it totally helped again.
Which brings me to my last Schmooze-related thought.
Once upon a time, a kid in my 5th grade class found the answers to our upcoming math quiz on the floor. He passed it all around and everyone in the room copied all the answers, all morning, before he gave it back to the teacher, having "just found" it.
Everyone copied, that is, except me.
I'd never cheated on a test, and even though all my best friends (who'd also never cheated) were doing it, I couldn't wrap my head around the logistics of the thing. Where do you hide the answers?? How do you copy?
It was only a three-minute "speed test," anyway (simple subtraction, as fast as you can), and in the end, I just did it.
To my dismay, when we traded papers with our neighbors and started correcting them, I saw Damon (yes, Damon; you recall he's been my lifelong arch enemy, before we married) marking all my answers wrong. Six—seven—careless mistakes in a row?? Really??
Damon was snickering, and then . . . the teacher discovered she was reading the wrong answers, from the wrong day's quiz—from that sheet off the ground. She laughed hysterically at how worried we all must have been, and slowly realized no one was in on the joke.
My hand was the only one that went up, when she asked if anyone had gotten these first answers "wrong."
I won't go into the terrible thunder that was our 5th grade teacher's wrath. I actually didn't remember this story until a friend gave me back the memory, whole, 15 years later. What I remembered was the terrible awkwardness of one day being the only kid allowed to leave when school got out. Fumbling for my backpack, the whole classroom watching—including terrible Mrs. Redacted. Waiting and moping outside the tiny, dark classroom window for my friends to finish their "standards" (something like, "I will not cheat on a test" 300 times). How even my best friend and my arch enemy, who were the true teacher's pets, were in big trouble.
The point of this story is,
I am having
I feel like it would be better, when it comes to leading a Schmooze topic, to attribute every idea on writing craft to someone else. Wherever possible, I dig through notes from conferences or go looking online or in books—trying to find quotes to kick topics off, or to use as segues—even if the thing I want to say is my own. I want to lend every idea credibility.
However, it is both faster and easier to produce my own content than to keep searching for who else might've said the same or similar, especially when I'm blatantly retrofitting suggestions with "sources." Or when I've heard an idea tossed around so much it seems arbitrary whom to quote.
It's also faster and easier to start babbling about one's own process while in the hot seat of the Schmooze than to remember to stick to one's copious notes, which one had spent hours preparing and going over on the phone with one's fabulous, talented, warm, wonderful fellow Co-Coordinator . . .
Thankfully, Lee and all the Schmoozers had so many fantastic contributions, I mostly kept my head. (You should read those other recaps. People brought in great techniques.) At one point, however, thinking about how authors often say their characters are composites of people they know, I blurted out this thing about the imaginary councils that live in my brain and vote on what my characters should do: one council per character, three members on each, with all members chosen from people I know based on the degree to which they share my characters' defining traits. I always pick names, ages, voices, and looks from non-council sources, which make me feel like I'm drawing from life without basing characters on anyone or worrying about what I'm "saying." (I'm not saying anything!! It's not you, I swear.)
As I talked (and especially as I got to the part about hiring and firing council members at will if they mucked up the works), I could feel my words speeding up. The reactions I heard ("Now I'm getting scared"—hahahaha) made me realize: I've never said any of this out loud before.
blink blink
blink blink
(And then I was outside the class again, somehow in trouble. :( )
It's all good. :D At the last SCBWI-LA Summer Conference, Rachel Cohn brought in a life-sized dummy she talks to—that she totally dresses in clothes and puts a wig on—and put that on the stage for all to see. That's how she channels her voice(s).
Rachel Cohn displays her "inner teen" at the 2009 SCBWI-LA Summer Conference
So is any technique that weird?? That life-sized doll didn't strike me as crazy at all.
(I'm not being ironic. I'm saying it's cool!)
("Is any technique that weird" as in, no technique is weird; not, no technique is as weird as Rachel Cohn's. Hahahahaha)
I'll get the hang of this,
r
P.S.
Details for attending the next SCBWI Westside Schmooze here | Actual topics and dates shown here. Come on down!
Jan. 26th, 2009
12:00 am - New Beginnings: Charlotte's Web and More
New Beginnings
Just in time for the first Westside Schmooze of the year the first weekend after the Schmooze the Inauguration
Chinese New Year 
comes this post on New Beginnings!
So, you know how E.B. White's Charlotte's Web contains what is probably the most famous first line in children's book history?
"Where's Papa going with that ax?" said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.
—Charlotte's Web, E.B. White (Middle Grade, Newbery Honor). HarperCollins, 1952
Did you know that other versions of this opening exist, that are totally different?? Earlier drafts?? And that they are totally available to the public?!?!
Well, they're "totally available" if you contact the super nice librarians at Cornell University's Division of Rare and Manuscript Collections and ask them to look them up for you—and those librarians are so nice as to type them up and email them back. That's what Westside Schmoozer Eric Drachman did—and what the librarians did!!—in preparation for our first Westside Schmooze of 2009.
WHAT A CONTRIBUTION!!
I love this opening to Charlotte's Web beyond all reason and can't imagine the whole world doesn't want to hear what the earlier drafts sounded like. I think it's okay to post them . . .
Here is the email from the librarian:
Dear Eric,
I have been able to locate three very different starts to "Charlotte's Web.
1. Chapter I. The Barn (in White's hand)
A barn can have a horse in it, and a barn can have a cow in it, and a barn can have hens scratching in the chaff and swallows flying in and out through the door -- but if a barn hasn't got a pig in it, it is hardly worth talking about. I am very Glad to say that Mr. Zuckerman's barn had a pig in it, and therefore I feel free to talk about it as much as I want to. The pig's name was Wilbur.
2. Chapter I. Escape (in White's hand)
I shall speak first of Wilbur.
Wilbur was a small beautiful, nicely behaved symmetrical pig living in a manure pile in the cellar of a barn. He was what farmers call a spring pig -- which simply means that he was born in springtime. But there is no use talking about Wilbur until we have looked into the matter of the barn itself. The barn was very large. It was very old.
3. Chapter I (typed and corrected in White's hand)
At midnight, John Arable pulled his boots on, lit a lantern, and walked out to the hog house. The sky was clear, the earth smelled of springtime. Inside the hog house, the sow lay on her side; her eyes were closed. Huddled in a corner stood the newborn pigs, eleven of them. They had their heads together, in a circle, like football players before a play
There is no mention in any of them of the axe at the beginning.
I hope this meets with your request. If you have any further questions, do not hesitate to email again.
Sincerely,
[super nice librarian's name redacted, though I'm not sure this is necessary]
They actually sound pretty good, don't they? (Some Schmoozers wished they sounded worse.) If you read the beginning to Chapter 3 in the book, you can see how E.B. White recycled and used many of the lines from his opening about the barn, so that work wasn't wasted. My own copy has that part underlined with smiley faces—by a younger me—so I am happy for the writer about that.
The final version of the opening definitely communicates all of the elements we mentioned at the Schmooze that a great opening might: intended genre/age group, tone, theme ("MURDER!!"/death ;) ), setting, and (optional) who the main characters will be. I personally have always also loved the opening to Charlotte's Web for another reason: It doesn't feel like an opening at all. You practically fall face-first into the kitchen and are off and running, without realizing you're only one line in.
Our Westside Schmooze topic this month was Beginnings--as in, what kinds of first lines will grab readers' and editors' attention, and do the openings to today's successful children's books all possess this special something? This was the first Westside Schmooze after the holidays and the first to be led by Lee Wind and me as its new Co-Coordinators. Our big idea was to invite everyone to bring in their own opening lines, and, after some initial discussion of the topic, to mix them in with beginnings from already published books. We read them out loud, and everyone discussed what they got out of each and whether (by a show of hands) they'd read on. The writers didn't have to reveal themselves, though some did. The quality of work brought in was outstanding.
You can read how the whole night went at Lee's fantastic recap at the official SCBWI Tri-Regions of Southern California Schmooze Blog. He got all our notes onlines, plus links to more resources!
For my part, I just want to say:
1) As much as I've spoken up at the Schmooze before, I've never had the experience of opening my mouth and suddenly seeing all heads in the room go down, every person silent and writing. It was a little disconcerting. But I'm a big note-taker, too, so I tried to be cool.
2) Lee and I totally overprepared. Just choosing which published books to read from grew into a task. After narrowing our favorites to those recently published and bestselling—ideally to indicate what publishers and readers are buying now—and after defining our categories—Picture Books, Chapter Books, Middle Grades, Young Adults, graphic novels; fiction, non-fiction; historical, fantasy, realistic, funny, and edgy—to make sure we had a balanced representation; and after making allowances for a few older books that were either really, really successful (or that I really, really loved), by the time I'd added my picks to Lee's, we had 63 selections, all typed up.
At the Schmooze, we read a total of 26 Beginnings: 20 brought in by Schmoozers, and 6 brought in by us.
So, here are a few more we didn't read. You tell me: Which ones are your favorites? What kinds of books do these first lines promise, and which ones make you want to read more? (You can read the 6 we did share, at the Schmooze recap linked above.)
(Note:
I did not choose any books based on whether I loved their first lines. I didn't want to bias the topic ("What makes a great opening?") according to my tastes. Lee and I were more interested in whether first lines pulled from books that were loved overall held up under the group's scrutiny. )
(Also Note:
We didn't show any book covers at the Schmooze, so you have a different advantage. It's just more fun to post pictures. But maybe this is more true to how readers choose their books, anyway.)
1.The day I decided to steal a dog was the same day my best friend, Luanne Godfrey, found out I lived in a car.
I had told Mama she would find out sooner or later, seeing as how she’s so nosy and all. But Mama had rolled her eyes and said, “Just get on up there to the bus stop, Georgina, and quit your whining.”
—How to Steal a Dog, Barbara O’Connor (Middle Grade). Frances Foster Books/Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2007
2.It’s hard work being a kid.
First of all, there’s school. Then there’s soccer practice, violin class, voice lessons, walking Sparky, babysitting your little sister, not to mention having to eat your vegetables!
So, one day, Brian decided to retire.
—The Retired Kid, Jon Agee (Picture Book, NY Times Pick of the Year). Hyperion Books for Children/Disney, 2008
3.Look, I didn’t want to be a half-blood.
If you’re reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life.
—Percy Jackson & The Olympians, Book One: The Lightning Thief, Rick Riordan (Middle Grade fantasy). Miramax Books/Hyperion Books for Children, 2005
4.When Bird woke up, he was grumpy.
He was too grumpy to eat. He was too grumpy to play. In fact, he was too grumpy to fly.
“Looks like I’m walking today,” said Bird.
—Grumpy Bird, Jeremy Tankard (Picture Book). Scholastic Press, 2007
5.Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense.
Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills.
—Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s Stone, J.K. Rowling. Illustrations by Mary Grandpré (Middle Grade fantasy). Arthur A. Levine Books/Scholastic Press, 1997
6.Bat is waking, upside down as usual, hanging by her toenails. Her beady eyes open. Her pixie ears twitch. She shakes her thistledown fur.
—Bat Loves the Night, Nicola Davies, ill. By Sarah Fox-Davies (non-fiction Picture Book). Candlewick Press, 2004
7.The Stein family lived in the pretty pink house with lovely purple shutters down at the end of Daffodil Street. Everything about the house was bright and cheery. Everything, that is, except the upstairs bedroom with the tiny round window.
That room belonged to Franny K. Stein, and she liked to keep it dark, and spooky, and creepy.
—Franny K. Stein Mad Scientist #1: Lunch Walks Among Us, Jim Benton (younger Middle Grade? Chapter Book?). Simon & Schuster, 2003
8.I am running.
That’s the first thing I remember. Running.
I carry something, my arm curled around it, hugging it to my chest. Bread, of course. Someone is chasing me. “Stop! Thief!” I run. People. Shoulders. Shoes. “Stop! Thief!”
—Milkweed, Jerry Spinelli (Middle Grade/Young Adult? historical fiction about a boy in the Holocaust). Alfred A. Knopf, 2003
9.Claudia knew that she could never pull off the old-fashioned kind of running away. That is, running away in the heat of anger with a knapsack on her back. She didn’t like discomfort; even picnics were untidy and inconvenient: all those insects and the sun melting the icing on the cupcakes. Therefore, she decided that her leaving home would not be just running from somewhere but would be running to somewhere. To a large place, a comfortable place, an indoor place, and preferably a beautiful place. And that's why she decided upon the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City.
—From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, E.L. Konigsburg (Middle Grade, Newbery Medal winner). Simon & Schuster, 1967
10.On Career Day Lily visited her dad’s work with him and discovered he worked for a mad scientist who wanted to rule the earth through destruction and desolation.
Up until then life hadn’t been very interesting for Lily. There had not been very many mad scientists.
—Whales on Stilts, M.T. Anderson (Middle Grade awesome). Harcourt, Inc., 2005
11.Everybody knows the story of the Three Little Pigs. Or at least they think they do. But I’ll let you in on a little secret. Nobody knows the real story, because nobody has ever heard my side of the story.
I’m the wolf. Alexander T. Wolf.
You can call me Al.
—The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs, Jon Scieszka. Ill. by Lane Smith. (Picture Book awesome) Viking/Penguin, 1989
12.I’m a sweating fat kid standing on the edge of the subway platform staring at the tracks. I’m seventeen years old, weigh 296 pounds, and I’m six-foot-one. I have a crew cut, yes a crew cut, sallow skin, and the kind of mouth that puckers when I breathe. I’m wearing a shirt that reads MIAMI BEACH—SPRING BREAK 1997, and huge, bland tan pants—the only kind of pants I own. Eight pairs, all tan.
—Fat Kid Rules the World, K.L. Going (Young Adult awesome). G.P. Putnam’s Sons / Penguin Putnam Books for Young Readers, 2003
13.
“Happy Year of the Rat!” Dad said as he toasted us with his glass. The clinking noises filled the air as the adults knocked glasses of wine against the kids’ cups of juice.
It was the eve of Chinese New Year and my best friend, Melody, and her family had come for the celebration dinner just as they had for the last two years.
—The Year of the Rat, Grace Lin (Middle Grade, and a book I once blogged about here). Little, Brown and Company, 2007
Happy Chinese New Year, Everyone!! Happy Year of the Ox!
Love,
Rita
P.S.
Seeing these different openings to Charlotte's Web reminded me of this great article by Orson Scott Card on writing Beginnings, that Stephanie Ruble once posted on her blog. In this article, Orson Scott Card reveals four completely different first chapters he wrote for his first sequel to Ender's Game (the series of sequels about Bean, not the series of sequels that were harder sci-fi). I had just read (and loved) Ender's Game, but hadn't ready any sequels yet. This article knocked my socks off. Talk about someone who knows what he's doing.
P.P.S.
Someone asked a very interesting question at the Schmooze. When people commented that certain beginnings sounded "older" in style than what might get published today—particularly those written from an omniscient point of view—the question was whether we could talk about this supposed difference between children's books published a couple decades ago vs. now.
I have a couple ideas on this; nothing I'd go out on a limb for (yet). Maybe, for my next post, I'll type up a few beginnings from beloved, older books, and we can search for any differences together.
Of the children's books referenced in this post, #9 above and, of course, Charlotte's Web (1952) are the oldest!
Jan. 16th, 2009
11:37 am - Rita Book Today: Sarah, Plain and Tall
Sarah, Plain and Tall by Patricia MacLachlan (Newbery Medal winner)My review
rating: 5 of 5 stars
Good grief. Everyone has read and loved Sarah, Plain and Tall, so I thought I had read and loved it, too. Trouble was, I couldn’t remember a thing about it, which, well, troubled me over the years.
Turns out, I’ve never read Sarah, Plain and Tall. Ever.
Took about half an hour, and I teared up every other chapter—plus the last. That’s five chapters out of nine.
Good grief. I love Sarah, Plain and Tall!!
r
View all my reviews.
Jan. 15th, 2009
03:02 pm - The Saggy Pants Issue
Well, it finally happened. I saw a boy on the bus today who was still in high school, and I wanted to pull his pants up.
But seriously. His back was to me, and he wasn't just "sagging" or "riding low." His jeans were under his butt. His underwear was blue (in the tighty whitey style), and while they seemed clean and . . . not full of holes . . . they weren't what you'd call fashion. I kept thinking he'd realize and freak out—right in the middle of all these other high school kids. At one point he bent over and picked something up—his whole, underwear-covered butt sticking out—and I thought for sure then.
Does this make me old??
(Also, how is it possible for jeans to stay up in front yet hang that far down behind?? I didn't know clothes were designed this way.)
This reminds me of a quote my friend Julie forwarded me a while back, from an MTV interview with (then-not-yet) President Elect Barack Obama:
Obama on the saggy pants issue
Sway: Our next question comes from Eric out of Huntington Beach, California: “There are numerous cultures and subcultures in the United States today. Powers-that-be set statutes with monetary penalty on how people wear their clothes. Do you find it intrusive on civil liberties to create such ordinances?” And you know I got ‘locks.
Obama: I wasn’t going to pass a law, man. You look tight.
Sway: I know people have piercings, tattoos. Eric, in particular, is talking about a ban on sagging pants. Do feel like people should be penalized?
Obama: Here is my attitude: I think people passing a law against people wearing sagging pants is a waste of time. We should be focused on creating jobs, improving our schools, health care, dealing with the war in Iraq, and anybody, any public official, that is worrying about sagging pants probably needs to spend some time focusing on real problems out there. Having said that, brothers should pull up their pants.
(If you go to the MTV link, you can actually hear him say this. And watch. It's a video with transcription.)
This high school kid on the bus wasn't a "brother," except insofar as he was my fellow, Asian "brother."
Pull up your pants, man!!
Dec. 23rd, 2008
06:11 pm - Rita and Damon's Holiday Bright Idea
Seasons Greetings, Everyone! Our paperless, "animated" Holiday Greeting Card is up!
Click on the image above to view Rita and Damon's Holiday Bright Idea
There's music on the page. Give it a few seconds to start.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
Wishing you all a wonderful 2009,
Love,
R&D
Dec. 2nd, 2008
01:20 pm - "I'm Lovin' It!"
"I'm Lovin' It!"
So my little cousin played "Fur Elise" on the piano for us the other day, and I told her this used to be my favorite piece, because it was part of my favorite commercial when I was a kid. I sang her the song—several times—and described the whole piano-recital scenario. I used to sing this nonstop on the playground to entertain my friends—and to torture Damon. I was in fifth grade, just like she is now.*
Next thing I knew, she was typing in search terms on YouTube: mcdonalds fur elise commercial. By morning she had watched the commercial over and over, memorized it, and had lots to say on every detail. She sang the song incessantly, and I joined in every time.
She was intrigued by the previous McDonald’s jingle ("It's a good time/for the great taste/of McDonald's!"), which I had to explain and sing. She prefers the current version (“I’m Lovin’ It”). It’s shorter.
Other than that, my cousin's reactions were point-for-point identical to mine on every detail: how that brother looked . . . annoying, how the girl was pretty (curly hair!), how playing the shake and cheeseburger was so funny, how she folded her hands, how the audience didn't know why she played that at the end . . . . I get nervous sometimes that even though I remember "everything," kids today might somehow be different. YouTube closed that gap right up. (Kind of like when Damon's little sister watched the I Heart the 80s series on VH1 five years ago and suddenly had the same favorite movies as us, and had watched them at the same age. It gives me a weird, time-machine feeling.)
Damon was groaning, watching the whole thing unfold.
And how was your Thanksgiving? =)
r
* Note: D and I were actually in 6th grade. I realized this immediately but didn't bother to correct. In retrospect it seemed this singing-the-song-incessantly behavior was more acceptable in "5th" grade. Though I've actually never stopped.
[Cross-posted from Facebook. Mention this blog and friend me there!]
Nov. 14th, 2008
12:30 pm - Rita Book Today: Bat Loves the Night
I just found this delightful nonfiction picture book that reads like fiction (which is what I need): Bat Loves the Night by Nicola Davies. Illustrated by Sarah Fox-Davies.
My review
rating: 5 of 5 stars
The words are evocative, gentle, swooping, imaginative. The illustrations add the same tender touch, informative and finely detailed, without ever overwhelming. We feel like we go on this journey. And there's wonderful extra information on bats in smaller lettering on some of the pages.
A delight!
r
View all my reviews.
Nov. 7th, 2008
01:27 am - Wicked
Just saw the musical Wicked tonight. After the emotional highs and lows of this week, the release of immersing myself in 3+ hours of feel-great fantasy (both the show and its afterglow) seemed immeasurable. My dear friend Irvin knows how I can get at musicals, with all those people singing their hearts out—their hopes and dreams—onstage. (The last one I saw was Sweeney Todd with him in 2001! And it made me spontaneously ask him to be in my wedding! During intermission!) It really clears out the soul's pores. It's like detoxing for the heart.
Back to reality tonight. But Wicked is fantastic.
P.S.
And they know how to use it, too. At the end, while we were still applauding, they announced their twice-annual, Broadway charity-donation drive, for children with AIDS and women with cancer. We just opened our wallets and gave.
Oct. 16th, 2008
05:31 pm - Chocolates and Candies More Delicious Than Ever
Chocolates and Candies More Delicious Than Ever!
“Months and months went by,” Grandpa Joe went on, “but still the factory remained closed. And everybody said, ‘Poor Mr. Wonka. He was so nice. And he made such marvelous things. But he’s finished now. It’s all over.’
“Then something astonishing happened. One day, early in the morning, thin columns of white smoke were seen to be coming out of the tops of the tall chimneys of the factory! People in the town stopped and stared. ‘What’s going on?’ they cried. ‘Someone’s lit the furnaces! Mr. Wonka must be opening up again!’ . . . But no! The great iron gates were still locked and chained as securely as ever, and Mr. Wonka was nowhere to be seen. . . . But there was no question at all,” said Grandpa Joe, “that the factory was running. . . . What’s more, the chocolates and candies it’s been turning out have become more fantastic and delicious all the time.”
—Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Blog entries are coming,
r
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